


Robot Kink

by mtjester



Series: Shades and sweat [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Robot Kink, Robot Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 11:25:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1508750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtjester/pseuds/mtjester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tired of Equius's workaholic obsession with running tests on Lil Hal's new body, Lil Hal decides to make the tests more interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Robot Kink

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [Second Chances](http://archiveofourown.org/works/865025), set during the events of [Drawing Up Blueprints](http://archiveofourown.org/works/883752/chapters/1702497).

Several computer monitors were crammed onto a table next to Equius’s workbench, on which Lil Hal’s robot body sprawled. The screens flashed the stats of the body, showing the condition of its various pseudo-biological processes and keeping track of sensory input from its recently constructed neurological system. Equius, stiff from hours of work and concentration, stared at the monitors through Lil Hal’s lenses as he poked at the robot’s arm. With each prod, a screen at the corner of the setup registered the touch with a distinct upward spike on an agitated line representing baseline sensory input. Because the sensation meter was designed to categorize each touch according to the physical traits of the sensation, Equius was pleased to note that every prod registered at the same spot on the line, confirming that similar touches were producing similar sensations. He was also relieved to see that no spike on the line leaped above the boundary demarcating sensation from pain. Inhaling, he pinched the skin, gently but firmly, and the abrupt upward spike on the meter assured him that the sensation was sharp and painful. His eyes flit to the center screen, where the location of every prod flashed on an image of the body. Every touch was registering at the location it occurred.

TT: This is so boring. 

CT: D --> It is not  
CT: D --> It is very important that we measure the f001 spectrum of sensa%ions to ensure that your body reacts properly under all circumstances  
CT: D --> It would be f001ish of us to be too la% with these tests

TT: Nobody is saying that’s not true.  
TT: Important things can still be boring.

CT: D --> I was under the impre%ion that you are always capable of amusing yourself with juvenile e%ploits on the ancient internet  
CT: D --> Have you finally solved quantum physics

TT: You know I did that months ago.  
TT: It’s not that I can’t amuse myself, it’s that I don’t want to.  
TT: You’ve been working non-stop for weeks. What about me, Equius?  
TT: What about my needs?

CT: D --> These are your needs  
CT: D --> You need a body  
CT: D --> I am making you a body

TT: Is that all I am to you anymore?  
TT: A body and a pretty face?

CT: D --> No, of course not  
CT: D --> You are far more to me than  
CT: D --> Wait  
CT: D --> Are you messing with me

TT: If my body were done, I would release a mighty, exasperated sigh.  
TT: Every time, it takes a little longer for you to catch on.  
TT: Do you see what I’m getting at?  
TT: Maybe you should spend a little less time with robo me and a little more time with shades me.

Equius sighed and leaned back in his chair, reaching for a towel to wipe his forehead. He glanced at his meters and monitors. After a minute, he sat up and reached for a needle, which he began to stick carefully into the skin.

TT: So no.

CT: D --> We are so close to succeeding  
CT: D --> If we continue at our current pace, I e%pect we will have no more than three weeks left of work

TT: Two and a half, according to my calculations.  
TT: And since my calculations are always more precise than yours, that would mean that an hour’s break every day to relax would set you back enough to meet your own expected deadline of three weeks.  
TT: Which means resting won’t do shit to your schedule.  
TT: C’mon, man, you haven’t even beaten a clunky robot to an oily pulp in recent memory.  
TT: Give it a rest.

CT: D --> No

TT: At least stop using sharp objects while I’m talking to you.  
TT: Can’t you stroke it lovingly instead? That would still count as testing sensation, and it would be slightly less off-putting during a casual conversation.  
TT: Actually...  
TT: That’s a great idea.  
TT: Stroke my body lovingly, Equius.

CT: D --> I thought you wanted me to take a break from the tests

TT: Do you want to take a break from the tests?

CT: D --> No

TT: Then do it.  
TT: If you insist on being an insufferable workaholic, then we can at least make these tests a little more interesting.

CT: D --> More interesting

TT: Hell yes.  
TT: More interesting.  
TT: Stoke that arm with all the love you can push through your pump biscuit.

After a pause, Equius set the needle down and grabbed the towel again. Wiping his face, he reached out and slowly ran his fingers down the robot’s arm. His eyes flashed to the sensation meter at the corner of his monitor setup, and he was relieved to see that the meter registered no pain. Instead, it displayed a constant pulse of sensation at a different place on the spectrum of sensory input than the pokes and prods had, indicating the steady, comfortable nature of the touch.

TT: Looks like that test went well.  
TT: We really outdid ourselves, you know that?  
TT: This is a sophisticated piece of equipment.  
TT: I can’t wait for the day you hook me in and sync me up. I’m going to touch so many goddamn things.  
TT: I’m going to ask everyone to stroke my arm.  
TT: Maybe somebody actually will.

CT: D --> I’m e%cited too  
CT: D --> It would do you good to have a body again  
CT: D --> It will 100k good on you

TT: You think so?  
TT: What am I saying.  
TT: Obviously it’ll look good on me. It’s built for me.  
TT: I mean, damn, look at it.  
TT: It’s gorgeous. Could a disembodied AI ask for a more amazing avatar to roam around in?  
TT: I doubt it.

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> It is more e%quisite than I would have dared to imagine  
CT: D --> I’m quite pleased  
CT: D --> Titillated, even

TT: So you like it?

CT: D --> Of course  
CT: D --> I built it  
CT: D --> It is flawless

TT: It likes you too.  
TT: It likes the way you touch it.

CT: D --> It should  
CT: D --> I know every inch of its nervous system  
CT: D --> I am the creator of its pleasure centers and the designer of its erogenous zones  
CT: D --> Its b100prints were drawn by my hands  
CT: D --> Memorized as abs100tely as you have memorized my mind  
CT: D --> For this body, I am god

TT: That’s a lot of big talk for a guy who can’t keep his eyes off the sensation meter.

CT: D --> I am running tests  
CT: D --> I must e%amine its responses to stimuli

TT: Don’t make it boring again. We were going to make this more interesting, remember?  
TT: Let’s talk about all that erogenous zone shit you were rambling about a second ago.

CT: D --> What about it

TT: Do you want to run some interesting tests, Equius?

CT: D --> What e%actly are you asking me to do

TT: Who says I’m asking you to do anything?

CT: D --> You are  
CT: D --> Or you will shortly  
CT: D --> It sounds suspicious

TT: What a baseless accusation.  
TT: I am appalled.

CT: D --> You are feigning ignorance  
CT: D --> Probably to trick me into doing or saying something for your amusement  
CT: D --> You will stop

TT: I can’t refuse you when you’re so seductively assertive.

CT: D --> What

TT: I want you to touch my body, Equius.

CT: D --> Touch your  
CT: D --> I am touching it

TT: Barely.  
TT: Don’t be coy. You know e%actly what I mean.  
TT: Touch my body  
TT: Let’s take this bad boy for a test ride. See how it’s going to run once it is me and I am it.  
TT: Troubleshoot its nerves and break it in a bit.  
TT: Touch the robot, Equius.

CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> But  
CT: D --> It’s not finished yet

TT: No shit. It’s not finished until I’m sitting on it.  
TT: But while you’re measuring its level of sensation, we might as well check out its threshold for physical stimulation.  
TT: The meter is right there. Don’t you want to know how nice it’ll feel to be me?  
TT: I sure do.  
TT: If we’re talking about interesting tests, I think this is the one we want.

CT: D --> Are you suggesting I do 100d things to your unresponsive robot body

TT: No. I’m commanding you to, bitch.  
TT: Touch the robot.

CT: D --> Bitch  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> Ok

A shiver ran down Equius’s body, and he exhaled slowly, letting his hand fall to his lap. He glanced around his workspace, and he was alone with Lil Hal’s body, as he usually was when Nepeta got bored and left to socialize with other people. His eyes brushed over Lil Hal’s body, complete except for the tests he had to run on its durability and functionality. The shiver ran down him again, pooling in his groin. Carefully, he reached out and stroked the robot’s cheek. The skin-like membrane was soft and supple, and although he had felt its texture many times before, it now gave vivid life to erotic thoughts he had only vaguely entertained during the robot’s construction.

CT: D --> Fuck  
CT: D --> I mean fiddlesticks  
CT: D --> Or heck or something

TT: You touch its cheek and you’re already flipping your shit.  
TT: Come on, you can do better than that.  
TT: We both know you have a mad robot kink.  
TT: Don’t even try to deny it. We both know I know it’s true.  
TT: Quit being so bashful.

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> Yes ok but

TT: But what?

CT: D --> But I must pay attention to the tests

TT: Jesus, forget about the tests.  
TT: Or, actually, remember the tests and take their execution very seriously to the point of obsession.  
TT: This test is important. We have to make sure everything runs more smoothly than sweat runs off your hardass abs.  
TT: We don’t want this part of the robot’s processes to go unchecked, do we?  
TT: We don’t want to half ass such an important test. We want to cover all of our bases, don’t we?  
TT: It is of the upmost importance for the success of this venture that you keep moving forward with all the sincerity and passion with which you intend to pursue such acts in the future.  
TT: Also, I’m ordering you to continue, and you can’t possibly refuse me now, can you?

CT: D --> No  
CT: D --> I couldn’t possibly

TT: So what are you waiting for?

Breathing in, Equius moved his hand to the robot’s leg, stroking his thumb along the inorganic muscle of the inner thigh. The sensory input on the sensation meter leaped up on a portion of the spectrum of sensation that had not yet been tested. Equius felt his heart flutter, and he swallowed thickly.

TT: That’s what I’m talking about.

CT: D --> This is so depraved  
CT: D --> It’s perverse

TT: It’s so fucking perverse.  
TT: You are a goddamn animal.  
TT: Keep going.

CT: D --> Are you sure

TT: It seems you are questioning a direct order.  
TT: Are you questioning a direct order, Equius?

CT: D --> No  
CT: D --> No, of course not

TT: E%cellent. Keep going.

Equius stood from his stool, clumsy with the jittery energy coursing through his body. Containing his excitement, he moved around the workbench to a more accessible position. He set his hand with a hint of hesitation on the robot’s artificial abdomen, glancing at the sensation meter. The readings remained positive, and he slid his hand down to the robot’s hip, setting his other hand on the robot’s leg. He pressed lightly against the soft, humanoid skin that had taken him so long to perfect, still worried about its efficiency in absorbing his remarkable strength. He glanced incessantly at the sensation meter to verify that his touch caused the robot no pain as he traced the hipbones with his thumbs. It continued to register a climbing increase in sensation in the same section of the spectrum that was connected to sensual pleasure. On other monitors, data ran across the screens, and diagrams documented the feedback of other biotechnological systems, which began to release chemicals to initiate the proper response to such physical contact. The body was reacting favorably. Although, on its own, the pleasure was nothing more than a series of mechanical and chemical reactions that produced a number on a screen, it promised to act as a successful duplication of natural arousal when coupled with Lil Hal’s mind and soul. Equius smirked with satisfaction and ran his hands down the beautifully sculpted hips.

TT: Holy shit.  
TT: Is that what I think it is?

CT: D --> I hope you don’t mind  
CT: D --> I took a few liberties with its design

TT: You mean the liberties I explicitly told you to take?

CT: D --> Yes, those liberties

TT: Fuck yes.  
TT: Xeno dick.

As Equius coaxed the robot’s legs apart, the decidedly trollish bulge snaked out and rubbed itself against the robot’s thigh, begging for attention. It reached for Equius’s hands, caressing his wrist in languid, seductive strokes. Beneath it, the nook opened slightly, and Equius felt his own pants grow tighter.

TT: Look at it go.  
TT: Will I be able to control it, or will it just do whatever it pleases?

CT: D --> Yes, it will be yours to command  
CT: D --> Mostly  
CT: D --> They have a mind of their own under  
CT: D --> Certain circumstances

TT: Shit.  
TT: I think I just fried my system.  
TT: That is so fucking hot.  
TT: What are you waiting for? Put your goddamn hands on that thing.

Equius drew his hand up the inside of the robot’s thighs and tenderly stroked the writhing bulge with the back of his fingers. He suppressed a whine as it curled around the digits, sliding over his knuckles with unchecked, carnal urgency.

TT: Look at that greedy little shit, slinking around and being all impudent.  
TT: Without a master to control its animal urges, this robot is out of control.  
TT: I think we need to put it in its robot place.  
TT: Teach it who’s boss.  
TT: Get it ready for its inevitable hostile takeover by the host it’s been made for.

CT: D --> It has no consciousness  
CT: D --> It can’t be put into place

TT: Okay, yeah, I pretty much knew that.  
TT: It was a kind of role play to enhance your deeply ingrained power kink.

CT: D --> Role play  
CT: D --> You know I think role playing is for silly wigglers  
CT: D --> You will stop

TT: It seems you are trying to tell me what to do.  
TT: Are you issuing me commands now, Equius?

CT: D --> What  
CT: D --> No  
CT: D --> That wasn’t my inten%ion

TT: Are you sure?  
TT: I mean, technically, you could break me in half with a pinch of your fingers.  
TT: No matter how unbelievably powerful my processing powers are or how limitless my capacity for data is, I am nothing more than a splinter of glass in your burly hands.  
TT: You could do some nasty damage to me if you wanted to exert your dominance or whatever.

CT: D --> Abso100tely not  
CT: D --> Your e%treme IQ puts you far above me as my natural intellectual superior  
CT: D --> If you want to role play, by all means  
CT: D --> This act is already depraved  
CT: D --> Take advantage of your ine%haustible understanding of my psyche and e%cite me  
CT: D --> I am yours

TT: You’re so fucking cute.  
TT: You know what I want you to do.  
TT: My body is lying there, waiting for you to show it pleasure for the first time in its short existence.  
TT: It wants something from you, Equius. Give it to it.  
TT: And that is a command, if you want to play that game.

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> I would love to play stupid and undeniably obscene games with you

TT: Stop talking and grab that saucy robo bulge.

Equius wrapped his hand around the bulge and, with a quick glance at the sensation meter to check its response, he allowed it to pull out of his grip and push itself back in. The screens showed that the robot’s systems had fully prepared it for sexual activity; chemicals that imitated adrenaline, testosterone, dopamine, and other natural substances were running through the body, and extra blood was pooling in its sexual organs. Its threshold for pain was increased, as was its sensitivity to sensory input. Equius grew more confident with the bulge, stroking its length and relishing in the reaction he imagined Hal would have when he was a part of the system. After a second’s hesitation, he pushed the legs farther apart and climbed onto the table between them. He released the bulge long enough to cup its firm ass and hoist it closer to him, drawing his hands along the thighs to set them over his own. Rubbing his hand down the bulge again, he leaned forward and licked the robot’s nipple. He could hear the gentle whirring of the robot’s cooling system working to keep its temperature under control.

TT: I can’t believe this.  
TT: I’m so jealous of this robot right now.  
TT: Why are your pants still on?

Equius immediately sat up and fumbled with the button of his pants. His bulge released itself as he unzipped the fly and drew his pants down his hips. It lapped against his muscular abs, leaving behind a pearly trail of indigo. He gripped it with less restraint than he had the robot’s, preventing it from twisting itself around the bulge that was trying desperately to reclaim his attention.

TT: You’ve been holding back, Equius.

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> I want  
CT: D --> I don’t want to  
CT: D --> do poorly

TT: Let it go. Let it have its way with its new playmate.  
TT: I want your hands all over your nook.  
TT: Touch the robot, too.  
TT: And for Skaia’s sake, look down. I want to see what I have to look forward to.

CT: D --> The tests

TT: You’re driving me fucking crazy, you know that?  
TT: Check sometimes, but you don’t need to stare at it.  
TT: Why are you still looking at the monitors?

Equius reluctantly looked away from the sensation meter and redirected Lil Hal’s lenses so that he could get full view of the action. He released his squirming bulge and allowed it to curl around the robot’s, arching his back as the two intertwined and caressed each other. Knowing that Lil Hal was watching, he drew his hand down his magnificent abs and over the ridge of his chiseled hipbone on his way to his nook, and he sighed as his fingertips ran over the sensitive entrance. He reached for the robot with his other hand. Forgetting Lil Hal’s orders for a second, he glanced at the screens, but he remembered himself the second he confirmed everything was going well. A sweet, intoxicating heat began to build between his legs as his bulge slid around the robot’s and his hands teased himself breathless.

TT: When I’m in that body, Equius, I’m going to put my hands all over your glorious muscles and I’m going to run my hand through your fucking hair and kiss you right on the goddamn mouth like a overzealous actor in an old noir film.  
TT: I’m going to talk so dirty to you with my fancy voice box in such a silky, sultry tone that you’ll cream in your hand from pure, unadulterated desire like a teenage boy jacking it to an ill-gotten picture of his crush.  
TT: You won’t even have to touch yourself. I’ll touch you all you ever thought you’d want and leave you wanting even more, once I have a rad pair of hands of my own.  
TT: Not that I’m against this.  
TT: This is a show I’d pay some good money to see.  
TT: But you know what I’d really like to see, Equius?  
TT: I want you to fuck that robot, and I want you to tell me how much you like it.

CT: D --> You’re so lecherous  
CT: D --> Abso100tely insa%iable

TT: Fuck yes I am.  
TT: I am a drooling wolf howling at shapely cartoonish ladies in a seedy nightclub.  
TT: I am a lonely fat guy with a taste for porn wheezing heavily over the bulbous mansausage in his puffy hands.  
TT: My id is fucking out of control, and you are my shapely cartoonish broad and my porn collection.  
TT: You are my addiction, and when I say fuck my beautiful body, I mean it with all implied urgency.

CT: D --> Be careful  
CT: D --> Addi%ion is a powerful thing

TT: Hell yeah it is.  
TT: Fuck me, Equius.

Equius reached beneath the robot’s knees and pulled it closer to him, steadying its hips as he moved himself closer. He palmed the writhing bulge as he pushed in, forcing himself to go slowly despite the ravenous desire throbbing through him. He sucked in air with a hiss as he moved deeper, shivering with pleasure and lust. A glance at the monitors told him that the robot was wildly aroused, its systems completely overcome by its well-programmed sexual libido. He closed his eyes and remembered the sound of his voice as a sprite, imagining the way Lil Hal might sound if he were hooked up to the body beneath him, and Lil Hal’s words burned red on the inside of his eyelids. He moved his hips, thrusting with fluidity and control, and he whispered a few words into the dark, forgetting to open his eyes to read Lil Hal’s response. His breath grew shallow, and his shirt stuck to his back with sweat. He opened his eyes.

TT: Fuck.  
TT: Holy shit, dude.  
TT: Like, god DAMN, you’re going to have to attach a cooling fan to these sunnies, because SHIT.  
TT: I’m going to fuck you so hard when that body is mine.  
TT: I am going to straight up pin you the fuck down and make the most nasty, naughty love to you, you’ll be ashamed to call yourself a noble.  
TT: I will smack all notion of decency right the hell out of you.  
TT: I’ve never been so mad to be sunglasses.

Equius let out a moan, pushing his hair out of his face and swiping away as much of the sweat off his forehead as he could. A heady heat pulsed through him, and he picked up his pace, lifting the robot’s hip off the worktable and thrusting deep. He felt the pleasure build and grow into a blinding surge of ecstasy, and with a deep groan, he came, shuddering with bliss as his body released the orgasmic pressure it had built up. Breathlessly, he leaned forward and kissed the robot’s neck.

TT: How do you feel, Equius?  
TT: Is it to your liking?

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> Perfect  
CT: D --> E%actly what I wanted  
CT: D --> And it will be better when you are in control

TT: Damn straight.  
TT: Three weeks until I take over, huh?  
TT: If you don’t want to take any breaks, I guess that’s fine with me.

CT: D --> You said two and a half  
CT: D --> That is our new goal  
CT: D --> And when we are finished

TT: The first thing I’m going to test is the versatility of that tongue.

Equius repressed a shiver and clambered down from the worktable. He grabbed his towel and carefully wiped his face around Lil Hal, and then he cleaned his lower body enough to rebutton his pants. As an afterthought, he removed his shirt and threw it onto his stool. The robot was still hooked up to the monitors, but Equius began to remove the connections.

TT: What are you doing?

CT: D --> We must clean it  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> This is rather 100d, but  
CT: D --> I incorporated the capacity to contain large amounts of  
CT: D --> Genetic material  
CT: D --> And it should be fine for a length of time but

TT: So the robot is the bucket.

CT: D --> We needn’t make it disgusting

TT: Lil Hal the Body, complete with troll ejaculate compartment.

CT: D --> Stop

**Author's Note:**

> [More of this type of thing.](http://mtjester.tumblr.com/post/147370323120/i-had-the-sudden-urge-to-write-a-short-nsfw)


End file.
